Control Freak

Romans 8:6-8...”The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind CONTROLLED by the Spirit is life and peace; the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. Those CONTROLLED by the sinful nature cannot please God.”

Okay, I will be the first one to stand up and say, “I admit it. I’m a control freak.”

But the thing about my world is that there is only a limited amount of things that I can control. All the things out of my reach, I’m ok with not controlling. But everything within my small realm of what I call MY world, I’ve got a thumb on...or at least I thought I used to.

I used to be able to control my children. Now one of them has turned into a teenager and that control has gone out the window.

I used to be able to control the cleanliness of my house. Now I have children...all boys at that. I always walk in the bathroom with towels all over the floor, a dirt grimed sink, dirty toys brought in from outside in the mud to be cleaned in the bathtub, toothpaste all over the sink. My bathrooms are no longer under control.

I used to be able to control my anger and patience. Now there are days when I feel more like a referee rather than a Mom and my patience wears thin, turning into anger.

I WANT to be in control of my immediate surroundings. When I feel like I’m in control, then everything can proceed as planned. When I’m not controlling, I feel so chaotic.

But you know what? It’s when I think I’m in most control of my life that I’m most out of control.

There are specific instances in my past that I can point where I was most out of control, but if you had asked me then, I would have responded, “I’m doing good. I’m in control.”

It’s that alcoholic who thinks she can control it after having a few drinks.

It’s that drug addict who thinks he can control his highs.

It’s that bulemic who thinks she has it under control and no one knows about her habitual purging.

It’s that depressed person thinking they have control of when they are going to die by committing suicide.

It’s that Mom who thinks she can control her temper after being pushed way over the edge.

It’s that wife who thinks she can control her emotions.

When we try to control ourselves, we can NOT do it. I do not have the power to control my own life, let alone all the emotions that go along with my life.

Let me tell you...controlling your own life is a trap. It’s a ploy of the enemy.

Because when you think you are sitting behind the wheel of your own life, driving your own steering wheel, then you’ve pushed God out of your life.

If you are controlling your own life, then you have pushed God out of the way. And that’s exactly what the enemy wants.

satan wants you, sinful you, behind the wheel, endangering yourself and everybody in your path.

Because let’s face it, I am drunk in sin and you get me behind the wheel, and I become a mighty dangerous weapon.

The mind controlled by sin is death, not only for myself but for those around me as well. I’m a BAD influence when I’M in control.

For you see, I’m controlled by sin. I was born in sin, I live in sin, I smell of sin, I reek of sin, I stink of sin, I am sin manifest. Mighty dangerous to have ME at the controls of my life.

When I’m in control, I only lead myself and the people that I love to death.

What if I relinquished control of my life? How would that feel? SCARY, to be honest. Frightening....out of control is what I would feel.

Who can I trust with the controls of my life? ABSOLUTELY NOBODY I know. There is NO ONE in this world that I can trust with my life. There is absolutely nobody who can handle my raw emotions, my messiness inside. There is absolutely nobody who will stick it out with me in the wallowing mud. There is NOONE who can handle me with love all the way to the end.

So who do I turn my control over to?

The one who can see the road all the way to the end.
The one who knows every bend and curve in the road.
The one who knows where the sharp dropoffs are on the sides.
The one who knows every pothole in the road.
The one who actually engineered the road.
The one who created the road.
The owner of the map of my life............
God.

He guides and directs and controls with an unconditional love.
He controls with care.
He controls knowing the end of the story.
He guides knowing where we are going.
He leads knowing our final destination.
He directs out of simple love for me.
He controls gently out of love and knowledge and goodness and kindness and concern.

Can I do that?

Can I relinquish control to something that I can’t see, can’t touch? It seems so uncertain, risky...to be honest, it seems so OUT OF CONTROL.

Can He really control my runaway emotions?
Of course, He created the whole universe. It’s easy for Him.

Can He really control my life?
Of course, He created the earth. It’s easy for Him.

Can He really control my destiny?
Of course, He created the waves of the oceans. It’s easy for Him.

Can He really control with my safety at the forefront of His actions?
Of course, He created me. It’s easy for Him.

What seems so hard and difficult and filled with stress and turmoil is SO EASY for Him.

If He created the whole universe and the earth by just speaking words, I think He can control my path in life without a hitch. He’s got control under control.

It’s so hard to do when I’ve been taught all my life to be independent.

As a toddler, being taught to use the fork and spoon on my own.
As a teenager, to have my emotions under control.
As a young adult, to live on my own and have my finances under control.
As a parent, to have my nerves under control.

I’ve been taught all throughout my life to do it MYSELF. So, how can I turn my chaotic, mixed up, upside down, downside up life over?

How can I turn the steering wheel over to God?

Will you join me in prayer that I’m able to let go of my life and turn it over in His Hands?

I’m doing a lousy job behind the steering wheel. It’s time to change drivers. Time for me to sit in the passenger seat and simply enjoy being in His presence and enjoy the scenery passing by.

He’s got it ALL under control.

Dear Heavenly Father,
I’m tired of being the wreckless driver of my life. Not only am I endangering my life, but those in my path also. Please take the wheel from me. I’m relinquishing control of my life to you. I want the joy and peace and life that You offer from Your control. Please be gentle with me as I’m fragile and unsteady and emotional and easily broken.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen

Matthew 6:33... But seek first His kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.